update

I just bought my first watermelon of the year. it weighs 8 lbs and looks super cute and green and round and melon-y. exciting, right?

maybe not. But there are so many things going on apart from me buying colorful fruit, some bigger than others.
I'm moving out in 99 days and can't believe I made it past the 100s.  It seemed like forever, now it's so close.

I submitted my short story to scotland and they'll get back to me in the next 4 to 6 weeks, if they like it I'll be offered a place in their Creative Writing Masters Program, which is my biggest wish. it is the number one on my university wish list and it is one of the best n scotland, I don't even know how I managed to gather enough courage to even send an application. Now here I am, waiting for a reply on a piece of something I wrote!! exciting.

I quit my job, finally. I'll work there until the end of may and then I'm free. it has been exhausting to say the least but I have saved enough money to make it in either Scotland, Wales, Sweden or Canada. I can be sure I'll be able to support myself when I go to another country and that is very comforting.

And don't ask me why, but I bought a ticket to a Lil Wayne concert in 2 weeks. I just wanted to do something different, I felt so bored with myself and life and everything over the past weeks. So I just bought a ticket, it should be fun. I cut my hair too. 5 inches had to go. my hair still reaches past my shoulders so it isn't that big of a deal. I love long hair.

On tuesday I knocked the filling out of one of my teeth and was lucky enough to get an appointment the same week. My dentist is super nice and awesome and I'm glad to have it all fixed now. on that note: people, go to the dentist. at least once a year, it's important. take care of your teeth!

that's it for now. just wanted to give a little update.

xo, Paula

blogging love and some questions

                                   Liebster is a German word that literally translates to

“dearest”, “favorite”, and “beloved”.

The wonderful Eeka from live.love.random. tagged me in this, so thank you!! She is such a cute lady and seems to have a super awesome wife and kids. I just love following her (even though I am the worst at commenting, sorry!), so why don't you visit her corner of the internet? You might like what you find :)

Here are the rules for when you’re nominated… 
Shout out the person who tagged you 
Post 11 random things about yourself 
Answer the 11 questions the tagger set for you 
Choose 11 bloggers to nominate for Leibster awards and link them to this post (or as many as you can come up with) 
 The 11 bloggers you choose must have low follower numbers (think under 200 followers or around there) 
 Create 11 questions for the 11 bloggers to answer in their Leibster Award posts 
Go to their blogs & alert them that you’ve nominated them 
 You cannot tag the blogger who has tagged you 

I won't tag anyone, cause most of the people I had in mind have already been tagged.
I'll just twist this a little and only do the 11 random things about me and answer Eekas questions. don't hate on me now.

11 things about me

1. I am very anti-social and have no problem with staying home all the time, entertaining myself with tumblr, writing or watching tv series without any end in sight

2. I am a massive Doctor Who fan and have been one since I was 14. Kinda proud I didn't just jump on the train in the last couple of years like so many others, haha (not judging you though. a fan is a fan, no matter when you start).

3. I am the laziest person on the planet. I could have 50 years to work on a paper to hand in for class and I would start working on it like the night before it was due.

4. You probably know this, I am a coffee-addict. for real. 3 pots a day. yes, pots, not mugs.

5. Since English isn't my first language, I am constantly torn between 'brtish' and 'american' english (yes, I know that there is no such thing as a standart brit. or am. english!). I just love them both.

6. I fan-girl over fictional characters like crazy and fall in love with them and obsess over them. this then gets worse, when I start shipping the actors of those characters as well. examples: Matthew Gray Gubler aka Spencer Reid from Criminal minds. I am obsessed with both personalities. The Doctor aka Matt Smith. omg have you seen christopher and his kind?? go, watch it! Misha Collins aka Castiel from Supernatural. the list goes on. Some people seem to be so genuine and cool you just wanna hang out with them and have them as best friends. I love goofy people.

7. I l o v e skittles!!

8. One day I want to have a seperate room for my shoes. and I want the most colorful nike sneakers there are. every single awesome model there is. and weird ugly-cool plateaus. I collect both.

9. I can't stand how my face looks without piercings. I have two rings in my lip (snakebites) and one in my nose (septum). I feel naked when I have to take them out.

10. I collect red lip sticks, just love the combination of red lips with my silver rings in them.

11. and nail polish. can't have enough colors.

and these are Eekas 11 questions:

1. What is your favorite vacation spot & why?

Nieuwvliet. It's a very small kind of village near the sea in the south netherlands (Zeeland). We have a little cottage there and you only walk 10 Minutes to the beach. it is very quiet and idyllic. and the salty air from the sea.. the best place on earth!

2. In what era would you love to live in & why?

the roaring twenties. in new york. oh my.

3. You have three wishes...go! (only 3...no unlimited wishing.)

I want to be 5 cm taller, have a million bucks and a dorky,sexy,hot husband. thanks!

4. If you could change your home to be "you" and money wasn't an option, what would you change?

I'm a student, so we furnished on an extremely tight budget. But the worst of all is our floor, it looks disgusting :( I'd have some kind of super expensive pretty wooden flooring done.

5. What is your favorite home cooked meal & why?

Turkeygulasch by my mom with potatoes, so good. it's kind of a turkey-stew, cooked for hours. yum.

6. If you could be a magical creature, what would you be?

a vampire. or a mermaid. or a witch.

7. Purple monkeys eat rotten coconuts, in rainbow tutus because.....

I told them to.

8. You have 24 hours to live, who are you with and what are your plans for the next 23 hours?

I'm with Matthey Gray Gubler and we paint things, have awesome dinner, exchange weird socks in all kinds of colors and then he'd read poems to me while I curled up on his chest. a girl can dream.

9. What is your favorite cupcake flavor?

chocolate. with choc chips. and nuts! but no frosting please.

10. What is your most favorite birthday memory?

don't really have one. I loved spending 4 days in the netherlands over my birthday 2 years ago! I woke up to sunshine, we took a walk on the beach, did some shopping in super cute small villages all around and had dinner at my favorite beach restaurant in the evening. it was the perfect day! 

11. Where would you love to live when your retired & why?

in the woods in a litle cabin somewhere in canada. with a big fireplace. and I'd write away everyday and publish tons of my stories so the world would never forget my awkward mind. 

wow, this took longer than I thought. thanks for the questions Eeka!

Now you people know a little more aout me and I hope you have a wonderful sunday afternoon. I'll have a cup of coffee now and see what wonders this day will bring.

xo, Paula

Uncertainty

right now life is a constant state of inbetween-ness for me. and for the first time - I am entirely okay with that. I'm sending termination letters to all the contracts we made over the past years: our flat, television, phone, internet, electricity, gas.. you have to give notice way in advance over here in germany, so we'll be out of everything by the end of june.

I'm waiting to hear back on 4 of my Master applications (1 in Scotland and 3 in Sweden). My chances to get into those programs are very slim, which is why I am still mostly set on going to Canada by the end of september, early october.
you see, everything is super uncertain. Scotland? Sweden? Canada? what will I do after finishing my bachelors degree, will I tae a break and travel for a year, or should I continue studying? where will I live between moving out of my flat and leaving for another country? and how about those books I'm writing? will they ever get published?

SO many questions. And for the first time in my life, I am not scared about that. I love planning every detail of anything way in advance. but now I have to wait and see what offers come my way for the next year/s. And I am excited about that.

It's a perios of transition. I'm still young and it won't be long until things in my my life become very set, so I embrace this time right here and now. For the first time in months (or so it seems) the sun is out and I just feel.. content. happy. excited about my future. hopeful.

it's a good life.

xo, Paula